Last night I watched Noboru Iguchi's film The Machine Girl.
I'm not going to attempt to review it - I think Tenebrous Kate already did a fine job of that - but this movie, paired with one of my favorites, Ichi the Killer, left me with one thought in mind: I want to be Yakuza.
And not necessarily because of the life of crime or random violence or flashing katanas or the sheer cold-bloodedness one needs to be able to fry the hands of schoolgirls in sizzling tempura batter, or feed someone's fingers to them on top of sushi. Oh no.
It's because according to manga, when you are Yakuza, you get to dress like this:
And absolutely NOBODY will tell you that you look like an explosion of a high school production of "Guys and Dolls." No one will tell you that you look like a gay extra from Dick Tracy, or I'm Gonna Get You Sucka. Because if they do, you can just take an entire roomful of people out and never get a speck on your red velvet coat.
Not that the arterial spray would show up on red.
Actually, no, scratch that. I want to be a Yakuza Ninja.
Then I could be in a gang that wears matching superhero outfits.
And best of all, I could wear a Drill Bra, and go around hugging people who pissed me off.
Gives a whole new definition to the saying "killing with kindness."
* Thanks to Tenebrous Kate for a couple of the pictures.