Friday, August 7, 2009

The Single Most Important Garment in the Modern Horror Movie

Greetings, horror fashion fans. After considerable research, I have determined that there is one single clothing item that all modern horror movies MUST have. What could it be? Is it shoes equipped with razorblades? Swami turbans that hide your third-eye death ray? Metal-spiked gloves? The Drill Bra?

Nay, my friends. It is, of course, the White Tank Top. It is the Little Black Dress of the modern horror movie. And especially if you are the Final Girl in a teen slasher movie, you have to have it on as you battle for your life against the evil killer.


House of Wax (2005) - check.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake (2003) - check.

Wrong Turn (2003) - check.

Why is this particular top such a necessity in horror? Is it because Sigourney Weaver looked so awesome in hers whilst fighting the Alien?

Well, yes, she did, but no again. It's because white tank tops not only show off one's sexy physique whilst still looking tough....

..they are simple, cheap, washable, and bloodstains show up beautifully on them.

You can trash hell out of a white tank top and still have 9 more left in your cheapo Walmart 10-pack.

It is the costume designer's save-all.